Balika Vadhu Actress Malini Kapoor: Patience is the key to parenthood
Malini Kapoor and husband Ajay Sharma are versatile actors and performers. Both Malini and Ajay have made us smile with their remarkable performances in many popular T.V. Series. The actress has previously worked in shows like Love Yo Zindagi, Y.A.R.O. Ka Tashan, Balika Vadhu, Saathiya, Kumkum, Dekho Magar Pyar Se, and Sindoor while Ajay is known for his roles in in Love you Zindagi, Ganga, Bezubaan Ishq and Munshi Premchand’s Guldasta.
The couple met on the sets of Love you Zindagi, in Punjab and tied their knots in 2014. They became proud parents of a cute son on December 5, 2017, and named him Kiyan. Kiyan is about to be three and has already worked with “the Mahanayak Amitabh Bachhan” and has won millions of hearts.
For all those parents who wonder if it is ok for the child to work in T.V., if they should allow their kids to perform in films, ads, reality shows or daily soaps must read this interview with Malini Kapoor.
How did you and Ajay meet? Was it love at first sight?
It was not love at first sight at all. Ajay and I met on the sets of Love you Zindagi, in Punjab. We became excellent friends, our friendship continued for a year, and then we thought to take our relationship ahead. Marriage was still not in our mind. Then parents intervened, and they wanted us to get married asap, and they gave us an ultimatum to get married now or never. So, finally, despite the dilemma, we decided to get married, and it was the right decision for both of us.
What was the most difficult decision you had to take when Kiyan came into your lives?
The toughest decision we made was that I would not work. Although I got an offer of a perfect role and I was baffled, but then I decided to not shoot for the next three years. I chose my baby over my career and money as nothing is more significant than him in my life.
Now in December, he will be three, he is grown, and I can start shooting soon.
Kiyan is already famous in social media, and paparazzi does it bother you? ( about safety concerns)
Both me and Ajay are actors, so we can’t hide him from the public. Moreover, I am not the person to shy away. My pictures were all over the internet when I was pregnant. When he was born, I started uploading his pictures for fun. But now, if I don’t upload his photos or videos, I start getting messages why I didn’t I upload? People message me saying that he brings a smile on their faces, so if he is spreading happiness, it is beautiful. God is watching over us, and I feel that when God is there to bless you, so, there is nothing you should fear.
How do you spend time with Kiyan in lockdown, is it challenging to keep him busy?
We have been super busy throughout the lockdown. Kiyan is having a gala time as he has both his parent all for himself. We watch movies, dance, cook, and I involve him all the things I do. We play with all the basic stuff of house, and I let him help me, which is a lot of fun.
Do you want your son Kiyan to grow up as an actor?
I don’t know if, Kiyan should grow up as an actor. It is one page that I would leave it blank because I want him to fill it up. Both me and Ajay will be supportive of whatever he wants to become. Our parents were very supportive, so that’s why we are where we are today. I started my career from travel and tourism, then I tried a couple of business, and later I became an actor. So, my parents never discouraged me, they were the most significant support system, and I know what it means to have parents as your pillars. So, whatever Kiyan will do or want to become, we will support him in all possible ways.
Kiyan has already worked with the mahanayak “Amitabh Bachan” how your and Ajay’s experience was?
Ajay was not here, and I got a call for the A.D. At first, I was very sceptical as Kiyan was just a year old. But it was ‘First Cry’s’ A.D., which is a reputed brand. So, I thought to at least discuss, and after all the discussion they told me that he would be shooting with Sir Amitabh Bachchan. Hearing his name I couldn’t say no. We shot with him for three days, and it was a fantastic experience. Kiyan was a favourite child on the said as he is a very playful child. He is a social child, and he adjusts well with new people, so he was quite comfortable on his first shoot.
Will you allow Kiyan to be a part of daily soap?
No, I won’t allow Kiyan to be a part of the daily soap. After a certain age working on a regular soap is excellent, but right now Kiyan is a kid, its time for him to grow, learn and observe. The schedules of daily soaps are very hectic, and we can’t allow him to stay on the sets for 8-10 hours. At no point, we can compromise with his studies or learning and his playtime as well. Moreover, there are very few kids on the sets of daily soaps. I don’t want him to grow with adults, and I want him to grow up playing with kids instead. We both don’t want to compromise with his studies and growth for anything.
There are so many children based reality shows like dance shows, singing competitions, cooking etc. are we going to see Kian in any of these in future?
Reality shows are of the short period and as far as it doesn’t affect his school, studying and playtime we don’t have a problem with it. He is an excellent drummer and maybe if there is any drumming based show I would him love to take part in it. But not anytime soon, all this will happen only after ten years.
Do you have any advice for parents who make their kids work in daily soaps?
See, its ok for kids to do a daily soap as an extra co-curricular activity, but I think 12 hours is a too long time to spend on sets. So, it is parents who should ensure that the kid doesn’t spend more than 4 to 5 hours. They should ensure that the production house follows this rule.
Unless he is not spending more than 5 hours on sets, it is ok to work on daily soaps because then there will be balanced between all his activities, they can play, study and act. Although I don’t know how much of this is possible, timings can matter a lot.
What is that one advice you would want to give to new parents?
We are building the next generation, one of the most important things that we need today is that our children grow as happy people. It would help if you did whatever it needs to be done to keep your self comfortable and calm because happy parents make happy children. Mothers should especially take care of themselves as fathers still get some time out, but not mothers.
What is one thing that you learned in your journey of parenthood until now?
My primary learning as a parent is that you have to be very patient, and it is the key to parenting. We should not take patience as a choice because if with kids, you are not patient, then you are teaching your child as well to be impatient. For example, if you are shouting on your child for something he might learn that, but with it, he will also learn to shout. So be patient with your children all the time.